


Infinite Game Cycle

by Alkie



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Goodbye, I AM RUINING MYSELF, I give up, ITS HINTED - Freeform, Inconsistent pov, M/M, POV First Person, Time Loop, basically Akechi taking Akira's place, help me jesua, i give up on my life, in the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-01 20:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alkie/pseuds/Alkie
Summary: "Don't fucking play you're the hero! You trash!" Furiously yells Goro. He's such a foul-mouthed it amuses me. "You didn't have to play the villain too. Crow..."





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this one will be a multiple chapter fic. Where Akira goes back in time via NG+ Cycle and couldn't save Akechi everytime the engine room happens and so, growing frustrated he did something that he hasn't done at any timelines.

_I'm keeping my balance, but I'm standing_  
_On razor's edge now_  
_Move quick or my life is over_  
_One strike, just a feint, then..._  
_I'm outta his field of vision_  
_Don't ask why I'm ready but I'm ready to_  
_Strike him down now_  
_A chance at a new start_  
_There's no time for indecision_

_—Rivers in the Desert, Persona 5_

 

_Everything happens within a blink of an eye, everything turns into a blurry mess. Distant voices, screaming my codename as adrenaline pumps through my heart. My body moving towards the still open engine room, towards him. Grabbing him by the shoulder, whispering the words that I've always wanted to say every time this event plays out before pulling the Nataraja out then thrusts the person out of the engine room, towards Fox who caught him albeit clumsily. Nodding my head, I aimed the said gun to the control panel and shoots it causing the shutters to shut._

_"Joker!!!" everyone screams and probably Skull pummels his fists behind the closed shutters. A melancholic smile made its way across my lips, I want to apologize for this reckless decision yet I'm tired seeing this over and over again. Every cycle ends up without him. It's the false God's fault.... I can't let him disappear anymore that's why I..._

_"Don't fucking play you're the hero! You trash!" Furiously yells Goro. He's such a foul-mouthed it amuses me. "You didn't have to play the villain too. Crow..."_

_"Shut the fuck up, open the shutters!"_

_"You moron, I shot the control panel. How do think will I be able to open it?" I reply while turning my attention to his cognitive. It made me shiver in anger on how Shido sees his own son. He's a fucking heretic that demands to be condemned for his misdeeds. "Everyone, secure the infiltration route for the treasure. Fox, take Crow away." I said in a soft tone. I'm really sorry, I'm being selfish... Guys... Goro._

_Crow hisses and says "What the fuck you snarky bastard!"_

_"We can't leave you!" Mona protested._

_"We'll break the shutters, don't do anything reckless!" orders Queen. I shake my head, they're stubborn pricks. That's why I care for them. Sighing softly, "Don't worry... I can handle myself." I pause then stare at the cognitive Akechi, there's a smirk on his face. I smirk back at him, pointing the gun at his head. "...Let's exchange place, Crow. I'll take your place, you take mine, okay?"_

_"The fuck are you saying, Joker?! Your friends will—" I never let him finished his sentence and pull the trigger at the exact timing Shido's cognitive of him does._

 

_**"I am thou, thou art I..."** _

 

Those words rang inside my head after the two gunshots echo through the closed engine room. I blankly watch everyone as they begin to pummel their fists against the closed shutters. Screaming his name in anguish. The ginger-haired girl beside me fell on her knees, muttering "No, this can't be... Akira...!" soft yet she's about to cry. Something fluttering caught my eyes. I turn my head to see what it was which turns out to be a butterfly... A beautiful carmine butterfly. It landed on my lips before fluttering away. His whispered words from earlier suddenly rose in my mind...

_"—Break free from your lies... Goro Akechi."_

And as if it was a catalyst. A nauseating feeling hit me, everything begins to swirl around me. Abruptly, Sakamoto grabbed me by my shirt's collar, odd, I never notice my clothes reverts back to my original detective uniform. I tried to focus my gaze on his unmasked face, seething and glaring holes on my face. My mind is too muddled to react in this situation... But... He can't be... dead, right? He's probably hiding somewhere, right?

"This is your fault!" He accused blatantly, his voice sounds distant. He was about to punch me when Kitagawa holds his wrist. "Calm down, Ryuji," he said solemnly.

"What the fuck? How can I CALM DOWN?! He planned this all! This son of a b—" He never finish his sentence as Kitagawa slaps his face. "I said calm down, we are at Shido's Palace. We don't want shadows attacking us as you lose your head,"  he said in a calm manner almost icily. Nijima finally intervene. "Yusuke's right..." she pauses while looking the at the closed door. "L-Let's do his final wish and secure the route towards the treasure, by then we can discuss this through."  I can sense the grieve in her tone. Okumura kneels beside Futaba and helps her to get up, melancholy written all over her visage while Takamaki wiped her eyes and act like everything is fine. I look at the ground as Sakamoto lets go of me, punching the wall to catharsis the frustration he felt.

I... This can't be true... He can't be... 

"He can't be dead..." I covered my mouth after noticing what I've said and now everyone is staring at me like I'm mocking them. My head hurts... Should I retreat for now? No. That's not the best idea I can do. 

Sakamoto looks at me and says "You fucking piss me off. You were intending to kill us earlier and now you spout that shit you bastard! You must be happy that he's... He's dead!" I found myself flinching at his words, shameful it might be but he's right. Although...

I don't feel happy at all... Happiness is something that I don't deserve, haha... I realize that these people made me feel happiness and yet I throw them away for a frivolous revenge, blindingly obeying my twisted desires. I'm a fool, for throwing these people away. I am a fool for getting blinded by my own selfishness. 

"I'm... sorry..." I whispered and before I know it my body has been weighed down, straight down to the floor. Takamaki, yelling my name in such worried manner while Kitagawa's face is abnormally close, I vaguely thought as everything turned pitch black. I'll... rest for a bit...

Sorry.

I'm a lying fool... 「 」 

 

**_"...How long would you flounder in your lies? Dwelling in the dark means you're giving up on the second chance he wasted on you, insufferable coward. Come, let us make a pact I'll lend you my strength just like how he wishes. Show me who you really are and break free from those detestable lies you've made!"_**

 


	2. A dream within the pristine room and a talk with Dr. Seuss cat

_The moment I opened my eyes, I spontaneously discerned that I was in a white and pristine room. Devoid of any furniture except for the bed I am laying on and a brunette child dressed in rags, an excuse for clothing I must say even if it's pure and pristine looking. The child was standing at the center of the room, holding a deteriorating headless bear and a Phoenix Ranger Featherman action figure in his other hand. I let myself smile while standing up and walks to the child. Kneeling down to his eye level, I brought a hand to his chin, cupping it in my palm before putting my other hand on top of his head._

_Slowly, I twist his neck. Watching his expression change from impassive to agony. Muffled cries become the only cacophony of this sterilized room. I ignored it, of course. I will stop unless I hear that satisfying **snap** from this damned child's neck. This whoreson whose existence is forsaken. It's not like this is the first time I've killed this pathetic child. And yet..._

_He keeps coming back, asking for affection and attention... What a deplorable piece of shit... Did it know that no one will give him that?! It never deserves something like that._

_I don't deserve something like that... A feeble rubbish like me deserves to rot in fucking hell._

_Finally, the sickening, snapping noise made its way to my ears. Like a classical music. I let go of the child, not bothered by the loud thud it made once it hit the floor._

_"Well shit, that's brutal..." A familiar voice spoke while whistling at the sight. I look at the person and felt my eyes grow wide, "You... What are you doing here, weren't you... dead?" I said, feeling that something is amiss. Kurusu's eyes weren't xanthous in color, they were originally gray. "...On second thought, why are you here in my personal space?" I ask. My mouth felt dry for no reason._

_He flashed me a grin, walking to the bed and setting himself on the edge. "Does **'I am thou, thou art I'**  ring your bells Goro?" he said. I stand up and turn to look at him with an impassive expression. He continues to grin, looking around while opening his mouth to say: "Your personal space, I must say... It looks like a room in a sanatorium. Compared to **his** personal space. Akira's personal space is a certain black room with a vermilion glass window." and I said nothing nor move from my spot._

_"You know. You are like him, albeit you are held captive by your self-hate and lies. My contract with him has been severed after Masayoshi Shido's cognition of you pierce his skull with a bullet. Worry not, that feeble puppet no longer exists." he said solemnly. I clench my jaw and bite the inside of my cheek, damn it. I told him not to play hero. Just damn it, Kurusu... You're a piece of trash. "As a fellow wild card like him, you have the ability to gain multiple personas. Although yours is too focus on resentment and deceit." he blabbed but I merely pay any attention. The guy said something about severed contract and Kurusu's personal space._

_"Are you his persona?" I blurted while crossing my arms, looking at the child who was revived and now twisting his neck back into place. Large and innocent xanthous eyes look at me with fright evident in them. "Seriously, how long are you going to break Robin's neck. He's a part of you, he won't die." Another version of me suddenly appeared and spoke, voice thick with molasses. Too sweet, the very same xanthous eyes gleams with mischief. Disgusting. Loki manifested itself as the fourteen years old me meanwhile Robin Hood manifested as my child self. An innocent, attention-seeking bastard brat._

_"Wow, abusing your persona is something like abusing yourself." Kurusu's impersonator commented while offering his hand to Robin Hood who gladly took it and the latter pull him, setting the brat on his lap. I scoffed, unamused before hissing. "You're a trespasser."_

_"No, I am an official resident now, right Robin?"_

_"Mhmm!"_

_I stared at them before turning to Loki who had a wide grin upon his lips. "As you can see," he said not really bothered at how I glare dagger at him. "thanks to some unknown reason after Akira dies with your cognitive version..." he blatantly said while pointing at Kurusu's imposter. "Arsene manifested into your soul. So he is your persona now. He is the initial persona of your dead honey~" he finished explaining. Dead honey... Goddamn it. I resisted the urge to punch him before looking at Kuru— Arsene, he had that signature Joker's smug grin as he opens his mouth and utter the words I don't want to hear._

_" **Honey, I'm home.** " and much for my dismay, Loki eagerly reply while smothering his own laughter._

_" **You're back awfully late, honey.** "_

_Someone, pour water on my physical entity so that I can wake up from this nightmare. "I never called him **honey** you piece of abomination." I can hear him chortle before saying. "And you regret it you piece of shit. Haha."_

_I **did** not._ 

* * *

 

The second time I open my eyes, I found myself on a bed that's too creaky to be mine. I blink my eyes once, twice and thrice. Adjusting my eyes to look round. My clothes feel a bit loose. Hm... The clothes I'm wearing aren't mine... I quickly sit up then ended up falling on my ass on the hard floor. God, did I crack it?!

"Are you awake, Akechi?" My heart jumps at the voice that spoke. I can't help myself to let out a consternation scream. Oh my god, Kurusu help me. The voice screams as well before jumping into my arms, we both scream. I was going to throw the furry—wait... Furry. Morgana???

"Holy shit, don't scare me like that?! You dumb cat!" I exclaim while settling the cat to the bed. The black cat hisses. "You're the one who started screaming! I was just asking if you're awake, you dumb prince defective!" Ouch... that stings a bit. I took a few breaths to calm my nerves and say. "Sorry..." I didn't really mean it. "Where are we?" 

"I apologize too," he said while rubbing his own ear with his own foreleg. "We're at the Leblanc's attic. You lost consciousness, are you feeling fine...?" he asked to which I only nodded. Heavy silence engulfs the two of us, I didn't have the courage to say something. I turned to look at the window, discerning that it's already night. "Is it okay for me to stay here...?" I let out, turning to the epitome of Dr. Seuss cat, "Sakura-san must've astonished by this, you guys brought a murderer into his shop, after all..." I added while twirling some strands of my hair between my fingers.  

Morgana had that look, achingly similar to melancholy. "...Sojiro just sighed, as if he knows it'll happen. Akira must've known that this would happen so..." he trailed off, turning his head to the window. Kurusu already know huh? 

He really is something special. I already concede that fact and yet I still feel envious... I wish I was special too. I wistfully wished I took a different path. It would've been better... It should have been. Is it too late to censure? I wonder...

"...still have that ring?"

"Hm, pardon?" I stared blankly at the cat, I often get lost in my thought. Morgana uses his foreleg and paw to point at something that I presume hanging around my neck. Ah... I absently grasp the silver ring that acts as a pendant then absently says. "I tried throwing it but I just can't... He is the first person who has given me something like this."

"Akechi... Do you really hate him?" He asked downcast. I let myself hunched, head falling on the bed.

"I wish I can hate him but my fucked up heart says I can't," I replied bitterly. "It's deplorable, Mona." He said nothing and just put his forepaw on top of my head.

 

Damn, the last thing I need is pity from a talking cat. How ludicrous. I should've been stayed asleep.


End file.
